Sunday, February 19, 2017
Women need to be empowered and liberated to order their own food at restaurants???
Women possess liberty over their own heads and power over their own persons, just as men do.
To keep us all in check, the Bible commands all Christians to practice kindness, courtesy, and to prefer one another before ourselves.
That is a wonderful thing.
But the line should be drawn when such things are done--not out of Christian love and humility, but rather--out of necessity, because it is expected, in order to reinforce Third World ideology such as male authority, female submission, or emphasizing the superiority of physical strength in males over that of females.
Aside from genuine courtesy (which should always be exercised and appreciated), men should not be made to feel ashamed for refusing to reinforce the helpless, submissive, behavior patriarchal treatment of women engenders.
Women should not be made to feel ashamed for refusing to pretend that they are incapable of doing simple things for themselves when men are around. Christian women must rise above the fear of having the dreaded label of, feminist, slapped on them for behaving in perfectly normal, competent, ways.
This is not relevant to Christian women and men today?
Why do men feel compelled to run around cars to open doors for women who are perfectly capable of doing so themselves? Why do women expect to have car doors opened for them when men are around to do it?
This writer is fully aware that these courtesies are socially ingrained, unquestioningly accepted, and many good people practice and accept these with genuine sincerity.
As will be shown, these good-hearted situations are not what this article is about.
Opening doors for people is a courtesy that is usually appreciated whether it is done by men or women. It happens naturally if we see someone whose arms are full or if they are struggling with a heavy door, or if we arrive at a door just before someone else and hold the door open for them. Human kindness dictates this should happen--but not that we should expect people to open and hold doors for others based on gender .
Having doors opened for oneself is very nice.
Having one's dinner paid for is even better.
Don't we all love freebies?
And if it appears the aforementioned courtesies are in decline? Then out comes the calvary in the form of the Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (CBMW) educating men in how to assert their biblical masculine authority over women through common courtesies, such as opening doors, holding chairs, etc..
If that is not enough, Christian novelists are busy reinforcing the concept through fiction. Complementarian authors routinely define those who do not perform the courtesies, or who do not appreciate them well enough, as cultural aberrants.
A case in point, is an excerpt from a story written by a best selling Christian novelist, "...Rushing around the car to open her door, insisting on paying for expensive dinners, ordering for her...things most men overlooked, or women didn't value, being liberated and empowered these days." End of quote (emphasis added)
Note how the author used the words "empowered" and "liberated" in such a derisive manner. In no other context--other than in connection with women--could those two words be used with such a contemptuous twist.
Women must be empowered to open their own car doors, liberated to pay for their own dinners, or to order for themselves in restaurants?
My children could do all of these things by the time they were four.
How sad that women are ridiculed (even by other women [the female novelist in this case]) for standing up for themselves, and refusing to accept courtesies that are extended for condescending reasons.
I am a woman who is not helpless or rude. Having the law of kindness upon my tongue does not mean that I lack the physical strength to open doors for myself. I do not expect to have my doors opened, but genuinely appreciate the courtesy of others and will politely thank anyone who opens one for me. I will even hold the door for a man if the occasion calls for it.
I can pay for my own dinners--unless we have a previous arrangement to take turns paying.
I was not created to be seen and not heard--nor am I mute. I do not feel inclined to allow men to marginalize, or declare illegitimate authority over me, by presuming to speak for me in public.
I will order my own food at restaurants.
Men are not mediators between me and service personnel at businesses, any more than they are mediators between me and God.
The complementarian pressure is on for Christian men to use courtesies that subliminally portray them as benevolent lords over helpless dependent woman. These courtesies were carefully invented in the days of chivalry for just that purpose.
So, for a man to feel obligated to use them, or be labeled as a cad, is simply wrong.
How backwards can things be in a Church where men are required to enable women to behave as if they are helpless idiots, when everyone knows they are not.
This, in turn, causes women to subliminally insult men, by treating them as if they are stupid enough to fall for silly shows of helplessness, and even worse, to expect men to feel good when they act that way around them.
Both sexes are demeaned by such behavior.
Men need to be empowered and liberated from the slave-holding spirit of complementarianism as much or more than women.
Even so, since when have the words liberty and power become dirty words?
Posted by Jocelyn Andersen
Pastor and founder of Hungry Hearts Ministries, Jocelyn Andersen is the author of, Woman Submit! Christians & Domestic Violence, For more information about all her books, visit her author page at amazon.com/author/jocelynandersen